


What If

by mysupernaturalobsessions



Category: Shameless - Fandom
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Bipolar Ian Gallagher, M/M, Soulmate AU, Soulmates, Tattoo Artist Mickey Milkovich
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28606203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysupernaturalobsessions/pseuds/mysupernaturalobsessions
Summary: Mickey has to reveal himself as Ian’s soulmate before he makes a huge mistake.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 3
Kudos: 199





	What If

“Mickey?”

“What?” he muttered, half asleep. His sister was lying beside him on his bed, not shy about taking up his space or interrupting his sleep. He didn’t mind as much as he pretended to.

“Do you think we’ll ever find ‘em?” Mandy whispered.

“Who?” He asked, even though he already knew.

Mandy sighed, wistful. Overdramatic. His sister was a real piece of work. 

“Our soulmates, you know.” She rubbed her wrist, then thrust her mark in front of his face like he hadn’t seen it a thousand times. “Sometimes I think it’s never gonna happen.”

“It will.”

“How do you know?”

“For fucks sake, Mandy, are you five? You’ll find them. Or you won’t. No use worrying about it. Now go to sleep.”

“You’re such an asshole.” 

He cracked an eye open. “Bitch. You know I hate talking about this shit. You’re gonna meet them, okay? They’re gonna be perfect for you and they’re gonna take you away from all this shit.”

She looked at him. “Can I see yours?”

”Fuck off,”

”Mickeyyyyyy,” she whined, pulling at his shirt. She didn’t even know where it was really, he would die before he showed it to anyone. She thought he was just a freak, but really, he was protecting himself from the truth.

He already knew who his soulmate was, who wore the same mark on his left shoulder, and Mickey was determined to never let anyone know. Not even him. Sometimes Mickey felt bad about it, but he convinced himself if it kept them safe it’d be for the best. 

That’s what Mickey told himself as he avoided his sister’s gaze and ignored her sigh. He pretended to fall asleep. 

Mickey had to wake up early the next day for work. He had been working at a tattoo parlor for the last four years, ever since he dropped out of school. He was lucky they took him, but his boss had admitted Mickey was pretty good and they’d pay him on commission so he’d have incentive not to scare the clients off. No matter how terrible their tattoo ideas were.

Mickey was still the newest member of the team so he was most often stuck with the earlier shifts - like anyone would come get a tattoo at 10am. But he booked some appointments, and organized the front desk as penance, and sometimes got a runoff client. 

Today the bell went off an hour into his shift. Guess it was his lucky day. He looked up, and immediately took it back. Not lucky at all. The universe was fucking with him. A mixture of relief and anxiety swirled inside of him. God, Ian looked good. Tired, but good. Mickey wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans and stood up.

“Gallagher.”

The boy looked up from the floor shyly. “Uh, hey, Mickey.”

“Haven’t seen you around in a while. Mandy misses your ginger ass when you stay away longer than a week, you know.”

Mickey would never admit that he also missed the boy, but in the heavy silence that followed he worried that Ian already knew. He thumbed at his lip, waiting for Ian to say something.

“You lost?” He finally grunted when the silence lasted a beat too long.

Ian made eye contact again and squared his shoulders. “No, I’m here for you.”

Mickey’s discomfort escalated to panic, thoughts racing about how the hell the kid found out about them and whether Mandy would give him a heads up if she’d assaulted him in his sleep and figured everything out. 

But no, he was so careful. There was no way. His mind was just fixated on this soulmate crap because Mandy couldn’t keep her girly thoughts to herself. He hedged. “That so?” he said with a smirk. Easy, cocky, like nothing was amiss. 

“Yeah, I uh...wanna get a tattoo.”

Mickey’s eyebrows shot up. “Okay?” 

Then why was the kid so nervous?

“A coverup, actually.”

“Didn’t know you had any ink. Okay take a seat, and let’s take a look.” Mickey gestured to his work station. 

This he could deal with. It’s not like the two of them never spent any time together. They hung out with Mandy together a lot, and if sometimes Gallagher came by when Mandy wasn’t home and Mickey invited him in anyway, well, Mickey was only human all right? 

And honestly, Mickey had really missed him since he went AWOL for almost three weeks. He had too much pride to ask him about it, though. 

Ian shrugged out of his jacket and then reached for them hem of his shirt, tugging it off.

Mickey could feel his face going red, but Ian didn’t even seem to notice. He looked at Mickey for just a second once his shirt was off and then turned around. 

Mickey froze when he realized. No. His heart was racing again. God, this day was going to be his last. Mickey searched Ian’s skin a little frantically in case he’d missed it, but no, Ian didn’t have a tattoo. All he had was his soulmate mark. Three jagged spikes connected, almost like a mountain range but steeper, with alternating green and blue dots between them.

Eventually Mickey lifted his hand to the mark that matched his own and Ian stiffened momentarily before relaxing into the touch. Mickey had seen it on Ian before, from afar when he was shirtless at the Gallagher’s pool or coming out of Mandy’s room to take a piss. He’d never seen it this close.

“Ian...” Mickey said softly, throat closed off.

Ian looked over his shoulder at him, eyes a little panicked.

“Can you do it?”

Mickey thumbed his lip. “I don’t know, man. It’s your soulmate mark.”

Even if Mickey hadn’t known for sure that it was, and even if a soulmate mark looked like a tattoo to the untrained eye, Mickey knew better. He was a professional. 

“So a tattoo won’t cover it?”

Ian looked like he wanted to cry at the thought and something invisible stabbed at Mickey’s chest. This was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? For Ian to live life without him. And what better way than to remove Mickey from him completely? It wasn’t like Ian knew that it was Mickey he was trying to erase. So he told himself this shouldn’t hurt.

He took his hand away ages too late.

“No, it will,” Mickey assured him. “If someone touches it they might be able to tell because it scars your skin in a way tattoos don’t. But if they don’t know tattoos very well they might not think anything of it.”

Ian visibly sagged in relief. Mickey laughed humorlessly. How was this his life.

“Okay, okay.”

“Come on, man. Take a seat. You know what you want instead?”

Ian shook his head slightly, and met Mickey’s eyes fully for the first time that day.

“I hadn’t really thought about it,” Ian admitted.

Mickey almost sighed. 

“You talk to Mandy about this?”

Ian shook his head, quirked a smile. “You know how she is about stuff like this.”

Mickey searched Ian’s eyes, trying to read his mind. Ian wasn’t completely lost on the idea of soulmates like Mandy was, but he wasn’t a complete cynic considering conversations he’d heard between the two of them. Ian had once said he just wanted someone who was good to him, loved him, soulmate or not. Who was Mickey to stand in his way? The best Mickey could do for him was letting him be. 

So Mickey squared his shoulders, and smiled back at him hollowly. “Yeah, I know how she is.”

He grabbed a rolling chair and a book of his designs, and leafed through quickly to something that he thought could work. He rolled the chair to sit in front of Ian and show him the page. Ian turned around in his own seat to get a better look and was abruptly face to face with Mickey who rolled back again conspicuously.

Mickey cleared his throat. “How about this? Adds some darker areas to obscure the lines.”

The tattoo had a lot going on, but simple wouldn’t really cut it. He liked the soulmate mark a lot better, it was almost pure in its simplicity. Ian seemed to agree it wasn’t right if his frown was anything to go by.

“Is that an eagle?”

“Yeah, Army. Thought it might be fitting.”

Ian laughed, but it sounded angry. “Not really, not anymore.”

“What?”

Ian sighed, pulling at his hair.

“Hey, whatever happened...it can’t be worse than getting your ass blown off in some foreign country.”

Ian was looking at the ground again. “I...kinda went crazy. Literally. I went to the hospital...thats where I’ve been the last few weeks. Turns out I’m bipolar, just like my mom, so yeah, no Army for me.” He shrugged. “It’s kinda why I’m here.”

“What?” Mickey asked again. “Why?”

Another shrug. “No one deserves this. I mean, who would want to be with someone who’s constantly losing their shit? Before the hospital I felt so good, like I could do anything and I was making all these plans for the future and getting out of here and as stupid as it sounds I was excited at the idea of meeting someone who’d want to be with me for all of it.” Ian looked up at Mickey with an embarrassed smile. When he hesitated, Mickey nodded, trying not to let on how much he needed Ian to continue. “And then it all just came crashing down and I felt...the worst I’ve ever felt. And, yeah, they say the pills will help but I just feel...wrong. I don’t want to trap someone else in a life like this.”

Mickey’s been watching Ian wring his hands together so harshly it’s distracting. Without realizing his own hypocrisy first he says, “Don’t you think that’s their choice?” 

Ian looks up at him, all sad big eyes. “I don’t want to meet them and have them leave me because of this.”

Mickey looks up at the ceiling because seriously? “Fucking hell, Gallagher.”

And Ian only looks mildly offended because he knows Mickey. “I know you think I’m being ridiculous, I just...it’d be the worst thing ever. If I got everything I ever wanted and then it just goes away? Because that’s what being bipolar is like for me, and I think losing my soulmate would be a million times worse.” 

“I don’t think you’re being ridiculous, Ian.”

“Then why are you looking at me like that.”

“Because!” Mickey exclaimed, exasperated. “Because you’re forcing me to say something I told myself I would never, ever say. I...”

Mickey didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wanted to tell Ian, really, but there was still some doubt about how he’d be received. He knew now, he needed to tell him. Ian didn’t have to do this, to hide this part of himself because Mickey already knew and Mickey would never ever leave him. Even if Mickey was a lying piece of trash who kept the truth from him. 

On second thought, maybe the hesitation was pretty justified.

Mickey shook his head at himself. He couldn’t come right out with it so he tried a different approach. “What if you saw your mark on someone else? You wouldn’t tell them?”

Ian was watching him, bemused. It was a rare thing to see Mickey show an interest, to admit he cared. But Ian knew he did. Still, it was nice to see proof sometimes. And his little outburst was adorable proof.

Ian’s happiness over Mickey’s response made it easy to say, “Yes, that’s the point.”

Mickey shook his head again, this time at Ian. “And what if your soulmate, not knowing it’s you, then came to you and said that they wanted to hide their mark because they think their soulmate deserves better.”

“Is this some reverse psychology or something?”

“And,” Mickey went on, ignoring him. “What if it’s the opposite? What if your soulmate is your little sister’s best friend who you know for a fact actually deserves better than you, not the other way around?”

“Mickey..”

“And what if he came to you and asked you to erase the one thing that proves you’re it for each other?” Mickey said softly. He looked down at his hands and then back up at Ian. “Could you do it? Cause I gotta tell you, man, I’m not sure I can.”

They had been unconsciously leaning closer and closer to each other with every statement Mickey made. He hadn’t even noticed, too caught in Ian’s expressions as he reacted, caught on, thought it over.

Ian shook his head. “No, I couldn’t do that.” Either. To you. “Mickey, I...”

“You don’t have to say anything, Gallagher, I know I’m not what you were dreaming up in your little gay fantasy.”

Ian rolled his eyes. “No, you’re better.”

Before Mickey could call him a name at that, Ian leaned forward the short distance to Mickey and kissed him, lightly at first, and then deeper when Mickey stood up to pull Ian against him rather than keep his balance on the chair. 

Mickey’s whole body was tingling, a warm feeling washing over him, and he briefly wondered why he’d been denying himself this.

Then Ian pulled back, just an inch. They caught their breath, just holding each other in place. Ian’s gaze travelled from Mickey’s lips, up to his eyes. His expression changed rapidly from hunger to fear, and it made Mickey nervous, too.

“You want me?” Ian whispered, uncertain. 

Mickey smiled, the expression feeling a little foreign but good, and reached up to brush Ian’s hair back. “Course I do. Come ‘ere.”


End file.
